You know, the one thing I really want to do is be a singer in a band. I've always sort of sang, and provided stupid voices for friends' skits and plays. I guess that's what compelled me to start making really dumb flash animations where I could scream and sing to horribly drawn pictures. In all honesty, I feel that I suck when it comes to doing artwork....but I've always enjoyed doing the voices for them. I love doing impressions, and general stupid antics with plays and dialogue. I should be doing a colab with one of my friends who's a DJ, he's pretty busy right now with final exams and whatnot. But hopefully we can do something fun. I don't want fame or incredible fortune. I'd just love to make a living doing it.

In case you were wondering, I've done things from rap to skits to emotional tenors. Nothing that really got any attention or notoriety, but it was fun.

Anyways....I like Flash, but I feel I need to combine my "MIGHTY MORPHIN BAT POWERS" with other pros who are skilled in music composition, percussion, keyboard and mixing. My Flashes are just fucking pathetic and it's amazing how people actually fav them and stuff back on FA. Again, I got the soul..I just epically suck at the drawing part lol!

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Today went by in a flash. Had my usual rice and egg breakfast. Had a smoke on the porch. Received a call from WarriorBlackFox when I was still in bed...where he discussed a most unfortunate incident with a n00bish prick. LOL. I'm sorry, hun. That just sucks. We should slap him. And then I....uh.....put the new license plate renewal decal on my car. And then......I went to Taco Bell.

And THEN I got a text from that fucking old bastard from Manhunt who doesn't take a hint. I deleted it. And then.....let's see. Spent the rest of the day watching Bill kaulitz videos in German and then I hopped in the car and just smoked a few cigarettes while driving around town at twilight. And now I'm here...talking to the interwebs.

I want a boyfriend. :/

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So.....I'm thinking about getting a new bat tattoo on my upper back this summer. I have a couple designs picked out. They are most awesome.

Well...I suppose I'll....have a couple more drinks.

I met a gay couple I used to work with at a grocery store a couple years back. They are SO damn cute. They're both in college so they don't need the full time employment that I'm scrounging for around here. I'm sure I'll find it. Eventually. They share an apartment on the East side. I'm going over for a BBQ next week with them. I can't wait to meet their peeps. It shall be interesting. I was interested in one of them at one time....but we moved apart as we were kinda incompatible. He's still a funny guy, though.

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Well, after I had a couple cigarettes on the porch (no old gay man this time....) I decided to put in my air conditioner in the window. I bought the damn thing last year so it better serve me well this scorching summer. 

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Oh....and in other news...there is an ex coworker who is displeased with the fact that I'm unwilling to date him. He actually called me and wondered if I wanted to come over and "play in his sling." I said no, pointing out I preferred a man my own age...and not 41 years old like him. Then he started to get pissy and actually cuss at me over the cell phone. I couldn't believe it. I thought he already knew we had an agreement that we would be gay friends but not sexual partners. This really makes me think about why people act like this. I make myself clear everytime what I want in any relationship....and if I say let's just be good friends..I mean it. If I say nothing particular..I'm leaving the door open for something more serious. But I TOLD him explicitly I thought he was a good guy, but not for an intimate relationship. *sigh*

I need more whiskey.

I've been traveling a lot as of late. Went to Helena for like the 3rd time in the past two weeks......this time to look for a seat for my brother's car from the auto salvage. I just go along for the ride. Since there's not much for a fag bat to do here, I thought i'd go for the food. I love seafood. We had beer battered fish!!!! I like fish. And the beer that goes with it. 3 heinekens in fact. :p

Every once in a while, I take a pause from my usual insanity and reflect on what's going on. And that usually compels me to just grab another drink because, let's face it.....I'm not where I thought I'd be when I was a horny 17 year old teenager. I thought I'd have a place of my own, a reasonably good job and possibly a significant other who's handsome. My gay cousin in Oregon is living a life similar to what I kinda wanted. They just bough their first condo together and are sending me pictures of their new place as they furnish it and stuff. How did my cousin find someone so awesome? And here's the funny part.....I don't even get along with my cousin's husband. But I think we can work out our differences in the future.

I think the old retired veteran man down the street has a sexual interest in me. The guy came up and talked to me while I was smoking on the porch, and his tone of voice was just...weird. I don't understand why I'm not attracting men of my own age and instead these retired guys who are looking for sex. Of course....I might be jumping ahead a little. Maybe he just wanted to talk....heh.....you never know. I'm aware of the fact that I'm very effeminate and my orientation is pretty obvious when speaking to me for a while. I dunno. Maybe it was my nail polish.

I'm delighted to learn that someone else on FA has an affinity for Bill Kaulitz. Let's face it; if you're straight, Bill will destroy that. :P

I need another cigarette. Perhaps some more whiskey. A certain artist on FA known as: IAMEATINGLEMONADE has inspired me to continue my stupid Flash cartoons. The guy is obviously a far better artist then I am, if he wanted to draw serious drawings. RESPECT. His Sonic cartoons crack me up.

 Just stepped in from having a couple cigarettes on the front deck. It's so damn nice out tonight...real cool summer night weather. My favorite. :) I've been stressed over the past few days. Anxious and just sort of down in general. It's probably because my nail polish is fading...or because all my networking leads for employment haven't gone through. Or because my earrings hurt. Or....because I STILL don't have a serious relationship with another guy. Just stupid hookups and old men looking for a younger goth fag to play with...which is NOT HAPPENING STOP EMAILING ME OLD 65 SOMETHINGS WITH HAIRY BONERS. Other than that....I'm stoked summer is here.

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ANYWAY, this is my first LJ post! Isn't that exciting? I don't know too many people on here but I'll find them! Haw haw!